May 2, 2008

haiz.....seems like I can't sleep well tonight

Today, I heard your news from Kaki, so happy, and I also knew that you are fine n still happy at your working place, seem like you guys so......happy, but I feel lonely here.......That day I went there, the 1st person I meet is you, you were shocked because I suddenly appear at your behind, haha~ actually I want to stay longer to chit chatting with you guys, but P looks so unhappy and quite no mood act......so I din chat with you guys a lot....so miss the time we chit chat play a lot of fool things.....bla bla bla, so, at the end, I still miss you, miss you so much, when Kaki said about your funny events, I started to imagine how you act, your emotion, your funny funny talking slang/style........you sure not gonna find me to chit chatting, because we're friends, very very very ordinary friends, haiz.......I wish to has gathering, so that I can know what you're doing dis few days/months, haha, I'm stupid, ya, so stupid although I know you not gonna have 'feel' to me ( I don't use 'like'/'love') because that is impossible, arrrr.....midnight already, I start to miss you, hey, good night, take care......^^

I choose to leave You

I started to leave, leave the place I was so trust in deep before, I'm don't want to continue it anymore, sorry, i feel tired, Maybe, it is a wrong path for me(soul), but, when I go there, go to your place, I feel so stress, can't stand with it, try to run away, I got no faith to you........
I feel comfort when I was with my friends, my other friends, who is called 'out-side ppl', we talk we care about each other, we stay together, I feel so happy you know? The happiness that i cant find in you now, maybe for my past, it is. I'm now fight with myself, myself who is deep in side me that always tell me to U-turn n come back to you, I reject it.....manytimes, pertend that I don't wan 2 stay in you anymore, and I know what will gonna happen to me, DEATH. yes, I know, I knew it since I 'know' you......
I'll gonna lose something important, but I choose to face my feeling now, and let you know clearly.....yes, you knew it.......
I don't want to pretend like a 'good' person in your place, It will hurt you, so do I.......
Maybe for these day, I gonna walk this path by myself, I know you are the Greatest one, you can give me a lot, and oso can let me lose a lot.......I don't know what is the reason I choose to leave you, maybe is because the devil who live deep inside of me.......